Habits – good or bad – are the routine behaviors that become part of your subconscious or automatic behavior.
Because habits are things that you do automatically, good ones cut down on your “mental load” and help conserve energy and promote efficiency. They can also enhance or protect your well-being and increase your productivity.
For example, a morning routine can make it easier to start your day, while the habit of taking a walk after dinner can help you get and stay healthy and fit. And, if you get into the habit of sorting through your email twice a day, you can keep your inbox from getting cluttered with junk and stay on track with important projects.
Conversely, bad habits can have just as big (if not bigger) of an impact on your life by hindering your progress, adding to your stress load and adversely affecting your health.
For example, if you’re prone to getting on your phone and “doom scrolling,” or you’ve gotten into the routine of flopping on the couch every evening instead of tackling those small home projects and “honey do’s” you want to get done, you can end up being unproductive and frustrated with yourself and your lack of progress. Other bad habits like overeating or letting mail and random clutter pile up on every flat surface around the house can harm your overall well-being.
Fortunately, it’s possible to ditch those bad habits for good and purposefully build good ones. It just takes some time. Here’s how to do it.
Understand the Basics of Habits and Habit-Building
Habits are formed through a process known as a “habit loop,” which consists of three parts:
- Cue – A trigger that puts the habit in motion
- Routine – The actual behavior
- Reward – The positive reinforcement that follows the behavior
The more often your behavior follows that loop, the harder the habit will “stick.” It’s important to understand that both good and bad habits follow the same loop. Bad habits are sometimes easier to form than good ones because the reward is often some type of immediate gratification – whether it’s the dopamine you get from junk food or the quiet relief that comes with just procrastinating a little on your chores. Meanwhile, the payoff for a good habit can unfortunately be slower.
How Do You Ditch Bad Habits?
The first step in breaking a bad habit is to recognize it. Be honest with yourself about the behaviors you genuinely want to change, because breaking them is going to take some effort. Then, you must:
- Understand the Cue – Analyze what triggers your bad habit. Is it stress? Are you simply fatigued at certain times of the day? Do social situations make you uneasy? Understanding the cue that triggers you is crucial for disrupting the habit loop.
- Find the Reward – Again, you must be honest with yourself. You wouldn’t keep doing something unless you continue to get something out of it, whether it’s a sugar rush, a momentary sense of control over your world or the chance to just shirk your responsibilities for a little while and relax.
- Replace the Routine – Once you understand the cue and the reward, you can replace the bad habit with a good one that offers a similar reward. For instance, if you smoke to relieve stress, you might replace smoking with a quick walk. If it’s a sugar rush, replacing your nightly ice cream or cake with fruit can still give you that sweet “fix” that you crave.
Sometimes, going cold turkey isn’t the most effective strategy. Gradually reducing the frequency or intensity of the bad habit can make the transition smoother. The key is to start to be conscious about what you are doing so that you recognize that you are choosing to continue to engage in repetitive negative behavior patterns. That can help you outline a clear, actionable plan to break the habit, set specific goals, identify potential obstacles, and determine how you will respond to triggers.
What Else Can You Do to Break a Bad Habit?
It can help to seek support. Share your goal with friends, family, a therapist or a support group so that you get some encouragement and provide yourself with accountability. You can also use a bullet journal or an app to monitor your progress. Just remember to reward yourself for small victories to increase your motivation.
If you went three days without letting the mail pile up, for example, reward yourself with a new book or some other positive alternative that gives you equal pleasure.
How Do You Build Good Habits?
Again, it is important to be intentional – but start small. If you try to revamp your entire life at once, you’re setting yourself up to get overwhelmed and fail. Pick one small habit you want to start and gradually build from there. Here’s how to begin:
- Set Clear Goals – Define what you want to achieve with your new habit. Make your goals specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound (SMART).
- Establish a Routine – Consistency is the bedrock of any habit. Try to add the new behavior into your daily routine at the same time each day so that you reinforce that habit loop.
- Use Triggers – Link your new habit to an existing positive habit or ritual. For example, if you want to start flossing daily, do it right after you finish brushing your teeth. This is sometimes called “habit stacking.”
- Make the Habit Enjoyable – Remember that habit loop? You are more likely to stick with something when you receive gratification from doing it.
Sure, the reward for flossing is better oral health and fewer dental bills, but that doesn’t hit your brain with the dopamine that comes from eating a cookie – so find a way to make even something as mundane as flossing pleasurable. Maybe you could turn it into a game or flip on your favorite music and dance around the bathroom while you floss. It doesn’t matter if you look silly – because silliness can be its own reward.
What Else Can You Do to Build Good Habits?
Again, it’s all about reinforcing your commitment and making the goal more attainable. Enlist the support of your spouse, your kids, your friends or your therapist and get out your journal and track your progress.
Promise yourself a treat when you reach certain set goals – but stretch them out further and further as you slowly ingrain the routine. Give yourself a reward the first day you perform your new habit, then another on Day 3, Day 7, Day 14 and again for sticking to your plan for one month.
Finally, remember that life can be unpredictable, and rigid plans can sometimes be derailed. Be flexible and willing to adjust your approach if needed. If you stumble, be kind to yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, and setbacks are part of the journey. Learn from them and keep moving forward. Persistence is key when making positive changes in your lifestyle.
